For starters, I decided a couple of weeks ago to start working out and to watch what I eat. This is not something I’m particular excited about, it’s just necessary and I’ve been forcing myself. Matt convinced me that I needed to get more involved [...]]]> Last week was tough. Really, really tough. All. week. long.

For starters, I decided a couple of weeks ago to start working out and to watch what I eat. This is not something I’m particular excited about, it’s just necessary and I’ve been forcing myself. Matt convinced me that I needed to get more involved in the food I consume and how it affects my diet. I started putting everything I eat into a program that lets me know the calories, carbs, protein and fat I’ve consumed. It gives me graphs and it’s been quite the eye opener. I was never a big eater and I thought I ate fairly well but it turns out that I wasn’t. It’s no wonder I became a blog. Ew! It’s been difficult balancing it out… but I stuck with it. And even though I was emotionally stressed and really wanted to have myself some comfort food, I didn’t!

Matt designed a fitness plan for me a couple of weeks ago. I felt like a big dummy at first because I was weak and uncoordinated but, amazingly enough, I felt myself getting stronger each time I worked out. He’s got me doing full body exercises, so I’m working multiple areas at once. I don’t really love working out. I never look forward to it and it’s really hard when I’m doing it. I’m having a heck of a time getting control over my mind in this area. I’ve only been working out three times a week but last week I broke down crying twice during my work out. Like right in the middle of some reps. It’s nuts, I’m definitely an emotional person but not one to cry easily.

I’m still crazy busy with work. I thought it would start to ease up once my teams started falling out of the playoffs, but it hasn’t a whole lot. My stress level has decreased significantly but there is still a high volume of work to be done. Bottom line is that I’m still learning how to balance my workload. The clients that I work with daily are on the West Coast but the teams travel to other regions, so I’ve got people contacting me from early in the morning until late at night. Working from home has it’s perks… getting woken up at 5am by someone calling three times in a row to ask a question that could have been emailed is not one of them. LOL. Emails stop coming in around 9pm at night. So really, if I let myself, I could be working from 6am to 9pm every day. I’m thinking it’s time for me to regroup and look for ways to work smarter so that I can get a bit of relief. The crazy messed up thing about all of this is that I still like my job. Haha. I need things to be change constantly and challenge me or I get bored. I’ve not been bored in 9 months… that’s pretty… awesome?? Haha.

Probably the most difficult thing was missing my younger brother’s wedding last weekend. We couldn’t afford to make the trip to Minnesota and I had convinced myself I was okay but when Saturday came along and my sister started texting me pictures, I lost it. Some of you know that there have been difficulties in recent years with my family and I and I haven’t seen them in a few years. Everyone looked so great! I cried because I was missing a monumental event in my brother’s life but also for everything that had been building over the last several years. I was also angry. Angry that I missed the wedding. Angry that I didn’t make a way to get there. Angry that I had talked myself into being okay with it. Angry that I’ve missed so much in my siblings lives. Angry that my dad is sick. Angry that I haven’t talked to him in so long. My tears were as torrential as the pain is deep. I love my family more than anything, even though they question this, and the worst thing for me is not knowing how to fix it. I’m not sure how everything will be repaired in my family but I have hope.

While there have been lessons learned and victories achieved in the past two weeks, I’m left feeling exhausted. This morning I woke up and weighed myself. I was really bummed to see that I had gained weight. Mostly bummed because I have been trying so hard to do well! Matt took my body fat measurements and calculated everything. It turns out that I lost five pounds of fat and gained six pounds of muscle! Can you believe that?!? That definitely made me feel better because it’s been soooo hard.

My focus in the next little while is stay consistent in the various areas of my life, no matter how hard it seems, and to continue to improve myself. I’m optimistic and excited… and looking forward to some rest this weekend!

I’m craving a chopped brisket sandwich and will speed over to our favorite BBQ joint and woof it down just as soon as my fitness fanatic husband finishes working out.

The best brisket I’ve ever had was in Texas. No surprise there. We [...]]]> Surely I’ll be able to get good BBQ in California… right?!?

I’m craving a chopped brisket sandwich and will speed over to our favorite BBQ joint and woof it down just as soon as my fitness fanatic husband finishes working out.

The best brisket I’ve ever had was in Texas. No surprise there. We do have our own versions of BBQ up north (in Minnesota) but I’m gonna have to be a traitor and say the south has us beat 100 times over. I’ve eaten so much BBQ since I moved to Oklahoma. Seriously.

Maybe I should learn how to smoke myself some brisket. That would solve everything!

While I [...]]]> “It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” – Alan Cohen

While I wouldn’t consider Tulsa to be meaningless to me, both Matt and I have been preparing for change for quite awhile. We didn’t really know where we’d go or what we’d do but we knew it was coming.

A few months ago when we were considering a move back to Korea, I felt that if we went, we’d be giving up something even better. At the time it seemed dumb, because we had no other prospects, but we both really wanted something different.

I turned everything down in Korea and didn’t even feel bad about it because I knew in my heart that something else was going to come up. A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend who was leaving L.A. to go back home to Colorado. I asked her who was taking her job, she said no one had been hired and that I should apply. I applied, had a webcam interview and then heard nothing for about a week and a half. My heart wasn’t exactly set on the position, although it seemed really neat, so when I heard that another applicant was way more experienced and already living out there, I didn’t feel too bad.

Fast forward another week. I got a call saying that this company wanted to interview me in person. I flew up to Denver last Tuesday morning and met with several people there. I had a great time! The company is really great and I had no qualms about anything. It was the best experience interviewing that I’ve ever had.  I wasn’t nervous and I felt that there was no b.s. being exchanged.  That afternoon the owner asked if instead of flying back to Tulsa, I’d fly out to L.A. to meet some of the clients. I had nothing with me… clothes, camera, computer, all of which I almost brought but didn’t… but told him I was up for it.

I flew into Burbank, picked up a rental car and cruised over to Pasadena. My friend met me at my hotel and we went and bought underwear a few things. We ate at a cool little Thai restaurant and then I crashed back at the hotel (I had only slept six hours the night before). The next day we met a client at his home, then went to the Honda Center and finally Angel Stadium. I also got to sit in traffic for about two hours. That was fun! That night she showed me the software they use and just explained more of what her job entails.

On Thursday we met with another client before I had to fly out. Everything went well with that meeting too. I left with not enough time to get to the airport but couldn’t do much about it since everything was blocked off for Michael Jackson’s memorial at the Staples Center downtown and traffic wasn’t moving very fast. I made it to the airport, dropped the car off, got through security and got to my gate five minutes before they were going to board. Major relief because I really didn’t want to wait around in the airport for another flight.

I didn’t expect to receive a call until today, because of the 4th, but Sunday morning I got a call from HR offering me the job! Matt and I are soooooo excited. I turned in my letter of resignation today and will start packing our house on Wednesday. My new company has annual meetings in July, so I’ll be flying back to Denver next week for those. I’m not sure of the exact date we’ll be moving yet but it’ll be this month. Woohoooo!

My little soap business seems to be growing faster than I had imagined it would.  I made a ton of soap a month ago and it’s half [...]]]> I had lunch with some friends from college yesterday.  For some reason it always takes someone coming in from out of town for us all to get together.  Strangeness.

My little soap business seems to be growing faster than I had imagined it would.  I made a ton of soap a month ago and it’s half gone already!  I’m really happy about it but I’m thinking I’m going to have to make some changes in the way I do things.  There are a couple of kinds I’m going to phase out because they didn’t sell too well but I’m going to have to make twice as much as I normally do so that I don’t run out.  I’m going to buy a printer this week too so that I can stop running to Quik Print each week.  They are great but it’s a pain working with business hours since my schedule is funky.

I realized the other night that I never uploaded the pictures I took of my friend Joy.  Most of my spare time is spent working on Luka but I’m going to make it a point to get them online. 

We’re also thinking about taking a trip to DC this year.  I’ve never been and Matt’s trip a few years ago was rushed.  We have a good friend who’s offered us her guest room so we’re hoping to take her up on that.   I’m looking forward to seeing all the monuments and just walking all over.  I miss walking!